The Blaze

A spark ignites it,

Flames begin to grow,

The fire burns everything,

I need to let go.

It dies out,

Leaving ash and pain,

It serves as a nest,

I shouldn’t complain.

It nurtures me,

Helps me to grow,

Pain is never wasted,

And I should know.

Time passes,

Things form anew,

The feathers come back,

I’ve lost nothing that I knew.

Finally ready,

I spread my wings,

The ash falls away,

I’ve learned a few things.

I take to the air,

Leaving the ashes behind,

My pain and sins gone,

Yet some regret remains in my mind.

I feel terrible for those I’ve hurt,

For the pain I’ve caused,

But little is served by looking behind,

So from my course I cannot pause.

The old me lies in ashes,

The new flying free,

I will not return,

For that is simply not me.

The fire didn’t destroy everything,

The good qualities remain,

The bad has been cleansed,

I keep the wisdom but leave the stain.

The future is far away,

To reach it is my goal,

And to never look back,

However life is not a stroll.

I hope to keep these lessons with me,

So no mistake may be repeated,

Once a change is made it cannot be undone,

A wound once healed does not need to be treated.

Hope burning bright,

Everything is ahead,

And nothing left back,

I have little to dread.

My time is now,

My wings are open wide,

Now is the time to fly.

Rant #1

Walking on the street has become a dangerous proposition at best. You set out and some moron thinks he can bend the rules. This is done in numerous ways. They can inch up on you. Often they try to squeeze by you. There are some that almost don’t seem to see you at all or notice that the light at the cross walk is green for pedestrians. What makes these people so stupid? Is it impatience? Or seer lack of caring about the world around them?

One wonders if it is because of how society today has train many to be so self-involved. So much of society encourages such behavior. Things like selfies, instant messaging (and practically everything else), Facebook, twitter, and even how parents raise their children feed this. We want what we want and we have to have it now. People are conditioned to think that the world revolves around them because so much of the way things are promotes that.

How can we expect the next generation to be anything but self-obsessed, technologically enslaved, morons? We have to change the way things are heading. Yet so many see no problem with this. How can anybody not notice how drastically this world is becoming corrupt? It’s amazing to thing how many people just want to live off the government and never work because of this entitled mentality. What’s worse is that the government does little to stop this.

To think just how much damage can be done by people who think that they don’t even have to try to find a job suck our system dry is staggering. Who raised these victim minded idiots? Some don’t even see a problem in how they view life through this lens. They just want to sit around and be lazy. Life isn’t about laziness it’s about hard work and growth.

Thus leading to the entitlement mentality of all people. Nothing in life is truly free. Everything has some kind of string attached to it. It hard to tell what kind of hook you’ll end up on if you’re not careful. So much of this world is lost behind smoke and mirrors. Hardly anything is truly real. So many people aren’t as they appear to be. We live in a world that doesn’t value true creativity or hard work. Those who work hard are often overlooked and instead those who are the most popular and loudest get what the other person deserved.

How can and one expect not to have people who don’t even care about the basics of the traffic laws with this kind of atmosphere? It’s no surprise that when you step out onto a side walk that you are taking your life into your hands. It’s no better than betting that you’ll win the lottery. Though you have better chances of getting hit by a car than winning the lottery.

Honestly, people need to get their heads out of themselves and start caring about others more. However, the evidence to human nature now points to quite the opposite happening. It’s just sad. How can the human race have fallen so far? 

Heads up!

Sorry, that I've been dormant for a while. Life has a habit of getting in the way of things. However, I have some good news. I will be posting here more often. Some of my posts will be creative writing pieces that I'm working on to see just let my mind go up any alleys I care to let it. Feel free to read my ramblings and rantings. I will also be posting chapters from my fantasy book that I've been working on. However, I haven't forgotten about writing about my cosplays and how they are going. My next official cosplay is going to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I'll be doing her blue dress. I hope it turns out well. Be seeing you soon!  

Geek vs. Nerd

It seems to me that some people now a days have problems telling a nerd from a geek. So, I’m going to set the record straight. That way this confusion over who is a nerd and who is a geek can end. To first illustrate my point I have a little video from youtube to help start you thinking. 

 As you can see from this video there are some distinct differences between a true nerd and a true geek. However, there are some places where the two overlap. Which leads to the confusion of the two. To help explain the differences I will preface this. A nerd can have geeky qualities and a geek can have nerdy qualities. These two kinds of people do not have incompatible qualities.

To help you better understand the differences between a geek and a nerd I’ll take you to the origin of their respective names. The word “geek” originated in the early 1900s. It was given to a person who worked in a carnival sideshow. This person would perform bizarre or disgusting acts, like biting off the head of a chicken (gross).

The origin of the word “nerd” can be traced back a doctor by the name of Suess in 1954. In a line from one of his books he wrote, “A merkle, a nerd, and a seersucker too!” The connation for a nerd is of a person who is irritating, unattractive, who is brilliant but chooses non-social pursuits.

Here’s what those terms actually mean for someone in today’s world. A geek is someone generally knowledgeable (often to the point of obsession) on a certain topic. Geeks are often very good with technology. They are frequently self-taught in how to do things like computer programming. The hallmark of a Geek is that they closely follow whatever obsession they have. Wither it be technology, science fiction, fantasy, etc. These people love to obsess over their favorite fandom. Also, a geek is a very social creature. They appear to look like your average person. Unless you start up a conversation about their fandom you won’t be able to tell if they are a geek at all.

A nerd on the other hand is a very different animal. A nerd is generally solitary. If they do socialize it is with others of their own kind (other nerds). They also specialize in things that a geek enjoys as well. This is often where the lines get crossed about who is a nerd and who is a geek and that leads to major confusion.

I hope to have cleared some things up for you guys. To clarify, I am a geek. I have friends that are and aren’t geeks. I obsess over fandoms like The Legend of Zelda, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. However, I do have some nerdy tendencies. I often prefer solitude because socializing can cause some anxiety but I will still do it and enjoy meeting people from all walks of life. However, I love hanging out with others of my own kind. It helps to recharge my spirit when I know that I’m not the only geek walking around my college campus.

Now, which one are you?

(if you want more information you can find it at this link: http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-the-Difference-Between-Nerds-and-Geeks it’s where I got most of my information is very helpful)        

The Guild

              It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here. A lot has happened since the summer of 2014. I’ve gone through two more semesters at school and have passed my classes on the way to a brighter future. However, for most of that time my circle of friends has remained rather small.

To be more accurate, I should say tiny. The only close friends I had were my boyfriend, Adrian, and our friends Cooper, Kyle and Shelby. Unfortunately, Kyle moved to Chicago to attend another school at the end of the fall. I’ve since heard from him and he’s moving to Texas. I wish him the best of luck. But, this is not the only thing I have to tell about my current circle of friends.

This past semester at school something awesome happened. It took a while but I now have a big group of geeky friends to hang out with. It took until the end of the semester for us all to actually make the first step and talk but we were happy to finally meet. It just proves what happens when we stand up and open our mouths. You learn a lot by speaking sometimes.

We’ve affectionately nicknamed our little group “The Guild”. The name just fits. After all, a name like the Geek Squad is already taken. So, we had to come up with a name that worked with our little collection of geeks. So, “The Guild” just works. A Guild is an organization with related interests or pursuits (according to merriam-webster.com). That describes our little group perfectly. Each of us is some form of geek. There is a difference between a geek and a nerd but I’ll post about that another time.

The Forming of the Guild

The forming of the Guild was one semester in the making. A lot of its members just came to our school this winter. So, I’ve only known them for this semester only. For most of the winter 2015 semester it was just me, Adrian and Cooper. Shelby was at work. She had crazy hours and couldn’t often be with us. So, Cooper, Adrian and I would hang out in our little corner of the school café and geek it up during lunch.

Now, we had a preferred spot to sit. The school café had to levels. A top level above ground with the normal tables and chairs. Then there’s this stairwell in the center that leads down into a lower area. It kind of looks like a pit. In the pit is where we liked to hang. They have some really comfortable couches down there and it’s relatively quiet. So, for most of the fall semester we’d chill on our favorite couch and launch into our geek talk until we all had to run off to our next class.

This semester we noticed that we had some competition for our favorite spot. Whenever we got out of class a large group of kids we’d never seen before had taken our favorite spot. We all didn’t really like that. We’d be comfortable there for a while but we weren’t going to be rude and say, “Hey, this is our spot. Get out.” So, we’d slide over to the couch on the other side and chill until the huge group left.

Now, our small crew of three is not what you’d call extroverted in anyway. So, we’d keep to ourselves. So, for most of the semester we’d go through this dance with the new group that liked our spot. They’d be there we’d either sit in the other couch or if that was taken find a good spot in the main floor to eat instead. This lasted until about the last week or so in March when Shelby, who was friends with some of the people in the other group, asked them if we could all sit together. They said yes and the four of us moved into our favorite spot once again.

That day we all learned what we had in common. We were all geeks in some form or another. Each of us had someone we could relate to on some level. Wither our fandom of choice was gaming, TV shows, anime, movies, or books, we now had a much larger group to talk to and make friends with.

The Members

The last time I counted the members of our group I noticed that there were at least ten of us in this group. That’s a lot of people to fit into one tiny corner but we make it work. Sometimes, a few of us sit on the floor or grab a chair from a nearby table to fit but we still have fun talking about our day and discussing geeky things like the upcoming Avengers movie.

I only know a few of my friends well enough to remember their names. I’m admittedly bad at remembering names. However, at least I know that my small crew isn’t so small again. We all come from different parts of the country and have varying interests. For instance, another girl who I have gotten close to is Sarah. She’s a SuperWhoLock fan (meaning that she is a fan of the shows Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock) we bonded over our love of this fandom(s). We’re both quirky college girls who love being geeks. She’s fun and great to hang out with when we both want a girl’s day out.

There are a lot more guys in our group than girls currently so having Sarah and Shelby around help the group get some much need female influence into our group. However, the new guys in our group are fun as well. I can’t remember all their names but I look forward to hanging out with all of them more often over the summer.

I hope to have some zany stories to tell from this little group soon. We’re all a bunch of geeks. There’s a lot of things that we can do and I look forward to doing it with them during the summer. See you guys after break!

(The point of this post was just to talk about my new friends. If anyone who I named in this post is embarrassed or upset. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you by it.)

Geeky Girl meets Cute Gamer Boy

At the beginning of Fall Semester at my college in Utah I met my current boyfriend. We ran into each other during student orientation. Our first conversation was over a t-shirt that he was wearing. It had an origami instruction manual on it showing you how to make a bat. I was surprised to see that on a shirt and asked him where he got it. I, unfortunately, forgot his answer then but that lead into a conversation about our mutual interests in gaming and anime. After that little conversation we parted and went about our business getting our first semester started.

I didn’t see him for a while after that or if I did I was too shy to say hi to him. However, we did talk a little once and a while during that fall and then when winter semester came we began to be friendlier with each other. We often ran into each other during our lunch breaks and would talk shop about our geekiness. I would tell him about conventions that were coming up and we’d try to make some plans to go together. We weren’t much more than just pals by then, only talking about games and animes we were watching.

However, during that time I was a little clueless to the fact that he liked me because I was dating another geek who I’d met first. Still, we had fun with each other. It was around March that he made it known that he liked me. I was dating someone else at the time and couldn’t really reciprocate. We remained good friends through that until summer.

In summer, my ex-boyfriend went home and I began to see just how not a good fit he was for me and how much I actually liked my current boyfriend. I think what was the kicker was when he went with me to a convention in June. We had so much fun that day and I loved just hanging out and being my silly, geeky, self with him. So, at the end of June after a lot of thought and consideration I dumped my ex and told my current boyfriend that I wanted to be with him as well.

Adrian and I at Fantasy Con

Our first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend was at Fantasy Con 2014. I went as a modern, female, version of Link from Legend of Zelda and he went as Desmond Miles from Assassin’s Creed. It was a blast for us to wonder around the halls going to booth selling geek gear and going to panels about our favorite games and animes. We even got to meet the voice actor for Altair from Assassin’s Creed, twice even! However, we did also spend a night in Provo for the Fourth of July weekend with a family that he was close with from his mission here in the States. It was our first test as a couple to see how much we could be around each other without going absolutely nuts.

I’m glad to say that we passed that test and after that we continued to hang out with each other on a regular basis for the rest of the summer. We had a lot of great times this past summer and it hopefully won’t be a summer romance. We are wisely taking our relationship slowly so that we don’t end up doing anything stupid or get in too deep too fast and end up hurting our friendship if we break up.

We are such geeks, our current text conversations often devolve into talking about the pokemon teams were working on or animes we hope to watch or other games that we’re playing. However, we still miss each other over the break we’re having. My parents now live in North Carolina and my boyfriend is from Oaxaca, Mexico. I can’t wait to see him again in September. He’s such a sweet and shy boy but I love him all the same.

My bofriend’s name is Adrian Lopez Villalobos. He’s a cute boy that I’m glad to call both my best friend and my boyfriend. I only hope that our relationship continues to go as smoothly as it has so far. However, only time will tell. Wish us luck!         

My Cosplays (2011-2014)

I decided to put up a little video about my cosplays that I've made over the years. Hope you enjoy! (I will begin more serious blogging soon. I need something to tell my wacky life story! ^.^)