Recently I’ve been working on a different section of my book. It’s a more horror in nature. In fact, the genre of my book is more of a dark fantasy book. I combine the fun of fantasy with the suspense of horror at different parts of my book. This excerpt is to show my command of how horror feels. I hope I pulled it off well. Please feel free to leave a comment. Any type of constructive criticism helps. I really want to publish this someday. Enjoy the reading!
Lunar Revelation Excerpt
Tentatively, I put my hand into the blackness. The sensation that could be sensed from this was one of complete nothingness. Not hot or cold but total emptiness. I pulled my hand back and felt unsure about stepping into the portal. The hollow feeling of the portal made me nervous. It seemed like I could potentially be walking into a trap. I can’t turn back now. Fin needs me but I can’t help but feel scared of this portal. It doesn’t feel right. Come on! You can do this! I steeled my nerves and put one foot into the portal.
The feeling of vacancy engulfed my body as the rest of me came into the portal. Part of me wanted to go backwards out of it but I had to press on. Moving forward through the portal the sensation persisted for a few moments. When I emerged on the opposite side of the portal my hands touched cold metal. Torch light greeted my eyes and I could see the wrought iron door that stood in front of me. Putting my shoulder against, I shoved the door open.
The heavy, iron door was reluctant to move. It made the horrible metal on metal screech as it slowly opened. Once it was finally open, I was able to see where the portal had taken me. A haunting landscape was now spread out in the eerie light of the half moon. Mist choked the tombstones that line the field in front of the building I was now standing in front of. The mist itself seemed to move about like spectral hands clawing about for living flesh. It was completely silent. Not a sound could be heard in the surrounding area.
I shivered a bit from a chill breeze that swept through the yard. Scanning the gloomy headstones, it was obvious that this would not be as quite as it first appeared. I was standing in a real haunted graveyard. A feeling of dark dread wrapped its icy fingers around my heart. This isn’t what I was expecting. I feel like I’m walking into a horror film…
I stood frozen for a moment, not sure if I should step out into the cemetery. The graveyard had mostly remained in its state of unnerving silence as I'd started making my way through the ghastly fog. I could barely make out the outline of the huge French château. It made Coşmar mansion seem tiny by comparison.
The burial grounds were an immense morass. Normally, I liked the challenge of navigating a maze but this was a cemetery. A haunted cemetery at that. Who knew what terror awaited me around the next row of tombstones. This was worse than getting the sword back at Avalon Island.
I picked my way through the rows of headstones. My nerves were as tense as piano wires. Any step could be my last. The ground shook the minute my feet stepped over a certain grave. I fell on my side as the earth beneath my feet started to rise. A coffin was revealed from under the rubble. A moment later the sounds of groans and scratching came from inside.
I sat there a moment, staring at the grisly sight in abject horror. Then the wooden lid of the coffin exploded. The stench of rotting meat and decay met my nostrils. A corpse shoot up out of the coffin. Wasting no time, I ran at full speed away from the zombie. That wasn’t my best idea. As I ran down the row more graves burst open. Soon I was surrounded by zombies. I had no choice but to stand and fight.
I drew my sword and began hacking my way through them. There weren't too many but there was less ahead of me than behind. After a moment a path was cleared and I ran for it. When the groans and gurgling faded I relaxed. I collapsed on the steps of a mausoleum.
Heaving in huge gulps of moist air, I leaned against the cold stone of the building. My heart began to thud less and less in my ears. It was quiet again in the cemetery. Quiet was good. Quiet meant it was safe. I breathed a heavy sigh and slumped further back against the chill stone of the mausoleum.
Once I'd calmed down enough to try again another nasty surprise caught me off guard. I was looking out at the fog trying to make sense of where I was when someone spoke.
"Lost?" asked a dry, raspy voice.
"Yeah," I sighed. "I ran so far from where I started I have no clue how to get back. Or to where I want to go."
"Where do want to go?" The voice asked.
"The mansion," I replied. "You wouldn't know how to get there would y-" I had turned to look at the person I was addressing and saw a hideous skeletal face behind me.
I screamed and scrambled backwards. I raised my blade at the specter and glared at him. The ghost wore clothes from the Victorian era. His wispy hair stuck out from beneath a large top hat. He was almost six feet tall and the skin that remained on his bones clung to them like tightly stretched taffy.